September22014

2creepychihuahuas:

illbeyourfavouritedrug:

heathyr:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

my life changed forever when i found out the word “slang” was actually slang for “shortened language”

image

so slang is slang for slang

image

I think slang is pretty much it’s own word now with it’s own definition, since not all slang is actually a shortened version.

(via whenuwishuponanerd)

10AM

Blueberries piss me the fuck off

all1sees:

They’re BLUE.

image

but mashed, they’re PURPLE??

image

AND WHEN SKINNED, WE SEE THE INSIDES ARE GREEN?????

image

WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK, BLUEBERRIES?!

It’s not a BLUEberry, it’s a BELEWEberry.  Belewe means to betray.  The same reason the blue moon is not blue, it’s belewe.

(via arielleishamming)

September12014

raikagay:

remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason

(Source: daruis, via mickeysam)

August302014
gay-men:

People forget this aspect of homophobia. They forget that kids who likely think or know they’re gay at a very young age have to listen to an avalanche of bigotry and absorb that into their view of the world. Often this stuff comes from their own family and friends. Not many types of people have to experience what can feel like growing up behind enemy lines. Some gay people do. The world moves on of course, people move on, but those in that situation still have to live with those experiences and the feelings of fear, isolation and loneliness that it brought about.

Reblogging because I know what that’s like.  The worst parts are being under the belief that there is something terribly wrong with your brain and not being able to figure out what or how to cure it no matter how many trips to the psychiatrist, and having the utter conviction that your are going to hell and there’s nothing you can do about it, because no matter how hard you try, you can’t get rid of those feelings.
Think about that before you decide how to talk about homosexuality with or around your kids.  Everybody has enough shit to deal with in this life without you or your kids putting other people through that kind of torment.  Telling people that they’re going to hell isn’t doing them a favor, it’s just mean.

gay-men:

People forget this aspect of homophobia. They forget that kids who likely think or know they’re gay at a very young age have to listen to an avalanche of bigotry and absorb that into their view of the world. Often this stuff comes from their own family and friends. Not many types of people have to experience what can feel like growing up behind enemy lines. Some gay people do.

The world moves on of course, people move on, but those in that situation still have to live with those experiences and the feelings of fear, isolation and loneliness that it brought about.

Reblogging because I know what that’s like.  The worst parts are being under the belief that there is something terribly wrong with your brain and not being able to figure out what or how to cure it no matter how many trips to the psychiatrist, and having the utter conviction that your are going to hell and there’s nothing you can do about it, because no matter how hard you try, you can’t get rid of those feelings.

Think about that before you decide how to talk about homosexuality with or around your kids.  Everybody has enough shit to deal with in this life without you or your kids putting other people through that kind of torment.  Telling people that they’re going to hell isn’t doing them a favor, it’s just mean.

(Source: girls-l-o-v-e-girls)

9AM

sixthrock:

sofapizza:

pleatedjeans:

This dog barks like a person screaming for his life. [via]

their neighbors must be terrified.

*wag wag wag*
*happy dog face*
*BLOODCURDLING DEATH SCREECH*
*wag wag wag*

If there was ever a time to abandon a dog on the side of the road, now would be it, guys.

(via mickeysam)

9AM

unic0rn-infinity:

landmerbabe:

privillagepeople:

landmerbabe:

behindtheporn:

What
The
Fuck

yr favourite “female-positive” porn star james deen is a rape apologist

it’s almost like porn has the ability to minimize people’s perceptions and attitudes towards sexual assault or ~~~~something~~~

So I guess we’re just going to ignore the fact that he was responding to the rape comment made by the woman above him?

no one is ignoring anything, she’s obviously repulsive as well, but the majority of the vitriol is indeed going to be aimed at the male porn star who is lauded because he eats pussy but has zero issues joking about anally raping the 12 year old girls around him

she said that (also awful) comment but it certainly does not absolve him of how gross he is, he didn’t even HAVE to respond at all let alone with that!

OKAY, so:

1) he is a pornstar okay

2) Dana DeArmond is a pornstar as well (don’t ask me how I, a sixteen year old girl, know that… just don’t)

3) none of them meant it seriously, they were joking because they made a porn video together where he was “ass raping” her (again, don’t ask me) and I suppose that some people probably watched it

4) I write for a czech website for girls/women and I made an interview with him. I talked with him about rape, and he said he would never have sex with anyone without their consent so please just hakuna your tatas ladies

they’re just two pornstars making private jokes, don’t get into it if you don’t do your research first, he is actually quite a nice person in real life so leave him alone; all of us make weird jokes sometimes.

1) Thank you

2) What 16 year old girl wouldn’t know that

3) Are we not going to respond to the fact that the 12 year olds shouldn’t have been doing what they were doing either?

4) They’re porn stars.  Why wouldn’t they be making jokes about ass raping 18 year olds (note how she said “in 6 years”) ….. guys.  porn.

Y’ all are takin’ this shit way too seriously.  (and yes, I used y’ all as plural as I’m from Chicago where y’all actually means how it sounds: you all)

(via mickeysam)

August92014
bogleech:

raw-fed-pets:

faofox:

raw-fed-pets:

All dogs share the same basic digestive system despite the range of physical variations (and attitudes) across different breeds. Every dog is designed to eat a raw animal-based diet, from the Chihuahua to the Great Dane. Breed-specific dog food brands are simply a marketing gimmick aimed at playing on the pet owner’s emotions, and their desire to feed their pet the best possible diet.

I don’t think that dogs need an animal-based diet. If done right they can be vegan and not contribute to the murdering of innocent animals. We’ve adapted and domesticated them enough to do so. They’ve evolved to live without meat just like us.

200% incorrect. Vegan diets are carbohydrate-based. Carbohydrates are inflammatory, feed cancer (glucose), contribute to periodontal disease (leading to systemic organ failure, eg heart), cause insulin spikes leading to a multitude of other issues in the long-term (thyroid, liver, diabetes, heart disease) and also cause pancreatic problems due to extreme stress on the pancreas (secreting heavy loads of carb enzymes over a long period of time). The low moisture content coupled with high plant protein may also cause renal failure in the long term. The preservatives used may also be linked to cancer (BHA, BHT etc), and these diets also skew the omega3/6 ratio, causing further inflammation (linked to cancer again). They cause urine alkalinity leading to urinary problems such as crystals, blockages and UTI’s.
Brief into to dog anatomy/physiology:
- Stomach PH: Their highly acidic stomach is designed for eliminating harmful bacteria and breaking down bone into a gel-like substance. Humans have a much more alkaline stomach acid which is why we would struggle to digest raw bone.
-Digestive Enzymes: Higher level of proteases to break down animal protein. High bile load to help push through bacteria.
-Dental Anatomy: Sharp pointed teeth designed for ripping and tearing flesh and bones.Dogs do not chew their food as we do, they are wired to swallow chunks quickly as a basic survival instinct.
-Jaws: Dogs also have strong jaws that physically cannot move sideways (like your own can). This sideways grinding action is a feature that allows pre-digestion of plant material. Again, dogs rip off chunks and swallow them whole.
-Lack of Salivary Amylase: Omnivores have this for pre-digestion of carbohydrates. Dogs and cats do not. The canine pancreas secretes amylase as a backup, however this does not mean they should be fed a high carbohydrate diet every day for a lifetime. Processed food (incl vegan) is 40-70% carbohydrate.
-Lysozyme: Instead of amylase, dogs have lysozyme in their saliva which is an antibacterial. This may be useful for destroying any harmful bacteria in carrion/rotten food/feces, as well as wound cleaning.
-Gut length: The canine gut is short in length which is because flesh must be pushed through quickly. It does not need to sit and ferment, as this could allow bacteria to multiply to harmful levels. Note that plant eating animals have a long digestive tract and even multiple stomach chambers in order for plant material to be slowly broken down by the necessary enzymes.
-Nutrient profiles. Dogs have 0% biological requirement for carbohydrates. They gain every single essential nutrient from a prey based diet such as Whole Prey/Prey Model. Vegan diets are full of processed lab-made vitamins and minerals. Many vitamin pre-mixes are made in china and shipped to the country of manufacture.
All in all, dogs will survive on a high carbohydrate diet but it will cause systemic effects eventually. Similar to smoking, a junk food diet affects every dog differently and some may be affected more severely than others, and in different time spans. You can also expect high vet fees in the form of dental cleanings, dental surgeries and various health problem later on in life.
It is not recommended that you feed your pet the equivalent of a big mac for the entirety of its life. This is essentially what kibble and vegan diets are. Evolution has changed the appearance and even the behaviour of your dog, but their digestive system is still geared towards meat. Basically, you are paying money to have a company slowly kill your pet from the inside out. 
0/10, Not Recommended.

Hard science here for anyone who needs to shut down a “vegan pet owner.” It’s abuse. Feed your animal the substances they evolved to eat or do not own an animal, it’s as simple as that.

Vegans’ number 1 mistake:  Putting too much emphasis on animal rights.  Please, animals have more rights than I ever will.  If you’re not going vegan primarily for health reasons, then you’re doing it wrong.  Trying to keep every animal alive because “they’re pretty” or whatever is just childish.  If you really cared about animals, you wouldn’t try to make them something that they’re not.  Predators will be predators.  It’s the cycle of life.  It’s all natural and that’s fucking majestic, even if it “makes you sad”.  Grow up.
Seriously, don’t tell me about animal rights and then turn around and say you’re dog’s not allowed to eat meat.

bogleech:

raw-fed-pets:

faofox:

raw-fed-pets:

All dogs share the same basic digestive system despite the range of physical variations (and attitudes) across different breeds. Every dog is designed to eat a raw animal-based diet, from the Chihuahua to the Great Dane. Breed-specific dog food brands are simply a marketing gimmick aimed at playing on the pet owner’s emotions, and their desire to feed their pet the best possible diet.

I don’t think that dogs need an animal-based diet. If done right they can be vegan and not contribute to the murdering of innocent animals. We’ve adapted and domesticated them enough to do so. They’ve evolved to live without meat just like us.

200% incorrect. Vegan diets are carbohydrate-based. Carbohydrates are inflammatory, feed cancer (glucose), contribute to periodontal disease (leading to systemic organ failure, eg heart), cause insulin spikes leading to a multitude of other issues in the long-term (thyroid, liver, diabetes, heart disease) and also cause pancreatic problems due to extreme stress on the pancreas (secreting heavy loads of carb enzymes over a long period of time). The low moisture content coupled with high plant protein may also cause renal failure in the long term. The preservatives used may also be linked to cancer (BHA, BHT etc), and these diets also skew the omega3/6 ratio, causing further inflammation (linked to cancer again). They cause urine alkalinity leading to urinary problems such as crystals, blockages and UTI’s.

Brief into to dog anatomy/physiology:

- Stomach PH: Their highly acidic stomach is designed for eliminating harmful bacteria and breaking down bone into a gel-like substance. Humans have a much more alkaline stomach acid which is why we would struggle to digest raw bone.

-Digestive Enzymes: Higher level of proteases to break down animal protein. High bile load to help push through bacteria.

-Dental Anatomy: Sharp pointed teeth designed for ripping and tearing flesh and bones.Dogs do not chew their food as we do, they are wired to swallow chunks quickly as a basic survival instinct.

-Jaws: Dogs also have strong jaws that physically cannot move sideways (like your own can). This sideways grinding action is a feature that allows pre-digestion of plant material. Again, dogs rip off chunks and swallow them whole.

-Lack of Salivary Amylase: Omnivores have this for pre-digestion of carbohydrates. Dogs and cats do not. The canine pancreas secretes amylase as a backup, however this does not mean they should be fed a high carbohydrate diet every day for a lifetime. Processed food (incl vegan) is 40-70% carbohydrate.

-Lysozyme: Instead of amylase, dogs have lysozyme in their saliva which is an antibacterial. This may be useful for destroying any harmful bacteria in carrion/rotten food/feces, as well as wound cleaning.

-Gut length: The canine gut is short in length which is because flesh must be pushed through quickly. It does not need to sit and ferment, as this could allow bacteria to multiply to harmful levels. Note that plant eating animals have a long digestive tract and even multiple stomach chambers in order for plant material to be slowly broken down by the necessary enzymes.

-Nutrient profiles. Dogs have 0% biological requirement for carbohydrates. They gain every single essential nutrient from a prey based diet such as Whole Prey/Prey Model. Vegan diets are full of processed lab-made vitamins and minerals. Many vitamin pre-mixes are made in china and shipped to the country of manufacture.

All in all, dogs will survive on a high carbohydrate diet but it will cause systemic effects eventually. Similar to smoking, a junk food diet affects every dog differently and some may be affected more severely than others, and in different time spans. You can also expect high vet fees in the form of dental cleanings, dental surgeries and various health problem later on in life.

It is not recommended that you feed your pet the equivalent of a big mac for the entirety of its life. This is essentially what kibble and vegan diets are. Evolution has changed the appearance and even the behaviour of your dog, but their digestive system is still geared towards meat. Basically, you are paying money to have a company slowly kill your pet from the inside out.

0/10, Not Recommended.

Hard science here for anyone who needs to shut down a “vegan pet owner.” It’s abuse. Feed your animal the substances they evolved to eat or do not own an animal, it’s as simple as that.

Vegans’ number 1 mistake:  Putting too much emphasis on animal rights.  Please, animals have more rights than I ever will.  If you’re not going vegan primarily for health reasons, then you’re doing it wrong.  Trying to keep every animal alive because “they’re pretty” or whatever is just childish.  If you really cared about animals, you wouldn’t try to make them something that they’re not.  Predators will be predators.  It’s the cycle of life.  It’s all natural and that’s fucking majestic, even if it “makes you sad”.  Grow up.

Seriously, don’t tell me about animal rights and then turn around and say you’re dog’s not allowed to eat meat.

(via mickeysam)

8AM

the-goddamazon:

pardonmewhileipanic:

red3blog:

pardonmewhileipanic:

notcuddles:

nesft:

Crow: CROW YES!

It’s actually impossible to measure how many fucks a corvid give because there is no device sensitive enough to register such a tiny amount.

science/animal side of tumblr… explain to me the birb thing

Tail Pulling is a behavior noted in many corvids. The practical application is to create a distraction that will allow the birb to make off with the target’s food. Imagine being in the lunch room and a large fellow has a Twinkie you covet. You can’t just take it from him because he’ll defend his Twinkie. But if you thwap him on the back of his neck and then dash around to snag the Twinkie while he investigates, you stand a decent chance of enjoying spongey goodness. This is basically that in birb form.

Except corvids don’t only do this as a distraction. Sometimes they seem to just being doing it to mess with other animals/birbs. But to use my lunch room analogy, there are times you might thwap someone sneakily on the back of the neck just for amusement. Primates exhibit behavior that appears to be just be annoying other animals for amusement. Given how intelligent crows are, its not unlikely that this is a manifestation of an innate desire to just fuck with someone else for the fun of it. Such as this from the link above:

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRB KNOWLEDGE

Lmfaooooo assholes

At one of my old houses, I used to watch geese do this all the time to each other just for the hell of it.

(Source: yinqors, via mickeysam)

8AM

professional-bird:

CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT POPE FRANCIS IS SO FRIKKIN CHILL THAT IF AN ALIEN WALKED IN TO THE VATICAN HE WOULDN’T EVEN FREAK OUT HE’D JUST BE LIKE “SUP DUDE LETS GO GET YA SOME JESUS” 

(Source: traceexcalibur, via mickeysam)

August52014

zumpie:

stop-hammerkind:

homosexual-leafblower:

mugglescanttameme:

magentamayhem:

YOU GUYS ARE FOOLS

YOU HAVE TO DECORATE THEM 

AFTER YOU COOK THEM AND THEY’VE COOLED

THANK YOU HOLY SHIT

HOW THE HELL DO YOU FUCK UP DIPPING STRAWBERRIES IN CHOCOLATE??? DID YOU EVEN TEMPER THE CHOCOLATE OR DO YOU JSUT LIVE IN FUCKING MORDOR HOLY SHIT

im laughing so fucking hard

We used to have a Halloween party every year (all ages)—-my husband would always try to do Halloween food like chicken strips as witches’ fingers or a shrimp cocktail brain mold. All his efforts took forever, never took and no one ate them. My just actual food (like crab cakes)? Devoured

The hedgehog killed me.  The more I scrolled down the more it just looked like people were trying to fuck it up.  It just kept getting less and less funny.  Seriously?  The cupcakes?  Come on guys, who does that?  Who even thinks of that?

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via mickeysam)

July312014
ellakaylis:

Lmao

The most frustrating thing ever.

ellakaylis:

Lmao

The most frustrating thing ever.

(Source: changotx, via whenuwishuponanerd)

July112014
And then they try to do the same to you and you run away as they chase you screaming “Come back here and get your karma!”

And then they try to do the same to you and you run away as they chase you screaming “Come back here and get your karma!”

(Source: inspiredbyadam, via kiralou02)

July82014
poppypicklesticks:

existentialirritation:

colorsofsocialjustice:

uberphones:

imminentdeathsyndrome:

Of course porn addicts wouldn’t want their wives or daughters in porn — they’re fucking porn addicts which means they watch a lot of porn. No one wants to click on “hot slut gets her ass pounded” and accidentally see their wife or daughter being fucked up the ass. No shit 100% said no. It has nothing to do with porn being “damaging”.


I still don’t get it. Why would most husbands have a problem with their wives getting fucked by a stranger on film? Totally baffled.

Riddle me this, Tumblr feminists: Do you want your husband, boyfriend, or son to be in porn? Or actors in sex scenes in movies in T.V. shows? How about the male celebrities you fangirl over, even the ones who are sexualized in their movies or magazines. You would say no, right? Is it because it’s damaging? No. It’s because you wouldn’t want to jack off to your own son or your husband/boyfriend lust over by other women (or men). But even if they did wanted to be in that line of work: they’re consenting adults and they have the right to do what they want. Just like those women. Anti-porn activists are just making things up now because they’re justifying their slut shaming and insecurities.
-Indigo

If you asked females who watch porn, they’d say the same thing. 100% of them would say no. Not because it’s damaging but because, you know, incest and cheating isn’t exactly a huge fetish.

I’m sure a lot of yaoi fangirls on here wouldn’t like it if their boyfriend was in gay porn.  Sure a lot of them might get off on it but I’m pretty sure a lot wouldn’t like it. 
Seriously, feminists, you don’t want to be in porn, don’t be in porn.   You don’t like the fact that other women are in porn?
Too fucking bad. 

I was confused by that last sentence.  ”It’s too damaging”.  I was like “What? That took a turn LOL”

poppypicklesticks:

existentialirritation:

colorsofsocialjustice:

uberphones:

imminentdeathsyndrome:

Of course porn addicts wouldn’t want their wives or daughters in porn — they’re fucking porn addicts which means they watch a lot of porn. No one wants to click on “hot slut gets her ass pounded” and accidentally see their wife or daughter being fucked up the ass. No shit 100% said no. It has nothing to do with porn being “damaging”.

I still don’t get it. Why would most husbands have a problem with their wives getting fucked by a stranger on film? Totally baffled.

Riddle me this, Tumblr feminists: Do you want your husband, boyfriend, or son to be in porn? Or actors in sex scenes in movies in T.V. shows? How about the male celebrities you fangirl over, even the ones who are sexualized in their movies or magazines. You would say no, right? Is it because it’s damaging? No. It’s because you wouldn’t want to jack off to your own son or your husband/boyfriend lust over by other women (or men). But even if they did wanted to be in that line of work: they’re consenting adults and they have the right to do what they want. Just like those women. Anti-porn activists are just making things up now because they’re justifying their slut shaming and insecurities.

-Indigo

If you asked females who watch porn, they’d say the same thing. 100% of them would say no. Not because it’s damaging but because, you know, incest and cheating isn’t exactly a huge fetish.

I’m sure a lot of yaoi fangirls on here wouldn’t like it if their boyfriend was in gay porn.  Sure a lot of them might get off on it but I’m pretty sure a lot wouldn’t like it. 

Seriously, feminists, you don’t want to be in porn, don’t be in porn.   You don’t like the fact that other women are in porn?

Too fucking bad. 

I was confused by that last sentence.  ”It’s too damaging”.  I was like “What? That took a turn LOL”

(Source: yoursocialconstructsareshowing, via mickeysam)

8PM

poppypicklesticks:

littleasianflower:

poppypicklesticks:

spookymumford:

This is terrifying. A boy from my school sent me this, and I have no words to describe how upset, angry and scared I am. Especially finishing it with a command like that, while he wouldn’t hit a woman but has no problem dominating her or joking about it. I’m sick and disgusted.

Today I learned joking about something means you’ll actually do it

Jesus christ, get the fuck over yourself you neurotic drama queen.  

I mean. The joke was stupid and tasteless but there’s no reason to be “terrified” because he made a joke

exactly 

Reblogging for over dramatization lol.  

(via mickeysam)

12PM
the-more-u-know:

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time and finally had the time while the kids are napping and I am (ironically) sipping a Chia Seed Energy Drink (recipe below). If you don’t already use chia seeds, you are missing out!
Not only are they gluten/grain free naturally, but one tablespoon of Chia Seeds has more calcium than a glass of milk, more Omega-3s than Salmon, and more antioxidants than blueberries. Perfect? Almost… they do get stuck in your teeth if you chew them plain (ask me how I know that!).
They also give you tons of energy but also won’t keep you awake at night and are supposed to be great for weight loss. Because they can absorb many times their size/weight in liquid, they are great for preventing dehydration during exercise or exposure to heat.
Supposedly, the Aztecs, Mayans, and Incans used chia as a staple of their diet and as an energy food. Chia means “strength” in the Mayan language, and they were known as the “Indian Running Food” because runners and warriors would use them for sustenance  while running long distances or during battle (source).
According to Mountain Rose Herbs they contain “Essential fatty acids alpha-linolenic and linoleic acid, mucin, strontium, 30% protein, Vitamins A, B, E, and D, and minerals including calcium, phosphorus, potassium, sulphur, iron, iodine, copper, zinc, sodium, magnesium, manganese, niacin, thiamine, silicon, and anti-oxidants.”
Additionally,  ”They are currently being used for their nutritional and medicinal properties, endurance for athletes, for suppressing the appetite, weight loss, leveling blood sugar, and for aiding intestinal regularity. Chia seeds readily dissolve into the water, creating a substance that looks like gelatin. This gel-forming action is due to the soluble fiber in the Chia seed. Researchers believe that this same gel-forming phenomenon takes place in the stomach when Chia seed is consumed, thus creating a physical barrier between carbohydrates and digestive enzymes and slowing the conversion of carbohydrates into sugar. Slowing the conversion of carbohydrates into sugar helps with endurance and metabolic rates, which is beneficial for athletes and others”.
“For weight loss, Chia seeds are an appetite suppressant, and Chia gel may be used to replace food within recipes. Bulking up a meal with Chia gel helps lessen the amount of food consumed, since Chia gel is primarily made up of water. Chia gel may also be used in place of fats within recipes, even within baked goods. Chia seed has hydrophilic properties, and can absorb more than 12 times its weigh in water. Because of this, Chia seeds can prolong hydration, helping retain moisture and regulate more efficiently the body’s absorption of nutrients and body fluids, including electrolyte balance.” (source)
I buy them in bulk (here) and we go through a couple pounds a month, but they are by far one of the most nutrient dense food per ounce that I use, and they help keep the kids full for hours, which is a huge benefit!
Convinced? Here are my ten favorite uses if you want to give this “Indian Running Food” a try:
1. As a Safe Egg Substitute
I recommend a lot of egg consumption and many of my recipes contain eggs. I occasionally get emails from readers who need to adapt a recipe to avoid eggs, and from my research/testing, Chia Seeds are the best option for this.
To substitute for an egg: Use 1 tablespoon finely ground chia seeds (grind them dry in a blender, food processor, or coffee grinder) and 3 tablespoons of water per egg in a baked recipe (does not work in place of eggs for omelets though…)
2. To Make Healthy Pudding
My kids favorite use of chia seeds is to make a homemade pudding with them. It’s easy to make and actually really healthy. Our go-to recipe is:
2 cups of coconut milk or other milk
1/2 cup chia seeds 
2-3 tablespoons cocoa powder (or to taste)(optional)
1 teaspoon vanilla (or to taste)
1 tablespoon or more sweetener of choice (optional)- We use honey or a few drops of stevia tincture
Put in a blender and blend until smooth. Will thicken in about 10 minutes in the fridge.
There are endless flavor variations. You can omit the cocoa powder and vanilla and add a cup of strawberries for a strawberry version, or add cinnamon and nutmeg for a Chai Chia Pudding.

3. To Thicken Soup or Gravies
If you don’t use cornstarch or thickening agents, it can sometimes be a challenge to thicken different culinary creations. Just add a couple tablespoons of chia seeds (powdered or not) at a time to reach the desired thickness.
4. To Make Grain Free Crackers
I’ve made several variations of these, including just mixing them with equal parts coconut milk to thicken, adding some garlic powder and sea salt, and baking at a low temp for a couple hours. I haven’t measured out my recipe yet to post here, but here’s another one that looks great.
5. To Thicken Meatballs Instead of Breadcrumbs
I married an Italian, so meatballs get made pretty often around here. His grandmother’s recipe calls for breadcrumbs, which I don’t use, so I just throw in a couple tablespoons of chia seeds (per pound of meat) in place of gluten bombsbread crumbs. Also works to thicken meat-loafs, batters, etc.
6. Sprouted for Salads
Ever had little sprouts on a salad at a restaurant? You can make them yourself. Just put some chia seeds in water, drain the water off and leave in a jar for a couple days. Every 12 hours or so, rinse with water and pour the water off. In a day or two, you’ll have little chia sprouts, which leads to the next use of chia seeds:
7. Homemade Chia Pet
These are the same seeds used to make the chia pets you can buy for ($20) in the store. Save about ($20) and make your own. Just fill a (porcupine) shaped pot with dirt, sprinkle some chia seeds on top of the dirt and water. Viola! Chia Pet. I also discovered when my kids spilled their chia seeds that they were eating for a snack that they grow in areas that don’t get much sun and that are often trampled (under the treehouse) and prevent mud. Now, the kids get to eat chia seeds under their treehouse often, and the ones that spill prevent mud. A win-win!
8. To Make Homemade Energy Gel
Seen the commercial for those new (corn syrup filled) Gatorade Gels and Chews? Here’s a healthier variation that kids will love: Add a couple tablespoons of chia seeds to a cup of coconut water. Let sit for about ten minutes and you’ll have an incredible energy gel! Beats the socks off of Gatorade for hydration and energy and you get to avoid the fake colors, fake flavors and GMO corn  Also works for grown ups for endurance activities like running a 5K without training at all (ask me how I know that….)(and come run with me!).

9. As a “Breading”  for Baking Fish and Chicken
Mixed with some almond flour and garlic powder, or even by itself, Chia Seeds make an excellent “Breading” for fish or chicken. It toasts up well and provides a nutty, crunchy flavor without the grains (another win-win!).
10. Plain Ol’ Chia Seeds
Even by themselves, they are a great source of nutrients and also leave you feeling full for a long time. I sometimes chew a couple tablespoons for a quick breakfast on the go, and they leave you feeling surprisingly full! They do stick to your teeth, but wash them down with some coffee and you’ll have energy for hours!
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the-more-u-know:

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a long time and finally had the time while the kids are napping and I am (ironically) sipping a Chia Seed Energy Drink (recipe below). If you don’t already use chia seeds, you are missing out!

Not only are they gluten/grain free naturally, but one tablespoon of Chia Seeds has more calcium than a glass of milk, more Omega-3s than Salmon, and more antioxidants than blueberries. Perfect? Almost… they do get stuck in your teeth if you chew them plain (ask me how I know that!).

They also give you tons of energy but also won’t keep you awake at night and are supposed to be great for weight loss. Because they can absorb many times their size/weight in liquid, they are great for preventing dehydration during exercise or exposure to heat.

Supposedly, the Aztecs, Mayans, and Incans used chia as a staple of their diet and as an energy food. Chia means “strength” in the Mayan language, and they were known as the “Indian Running Food” because runners and warriors would use them for sustenance  while running long distances or during battle (source).

According to Mountain Rose Herbs they contain “Essential fatty acids alpha-linolenic and linoleic acid, mucin, strontium, 30% protein, Vitamins A, B, E, and D, and minerals including calcium, phosphorus, potassium, sulphur, iron, iodine, copper, zinc, sodium, magnesium, manganese, niacin, thiamine, silicon, and anti-oxidants.”

Additionally,  ”They are currently being used for their nutritional and medicinal properties, endurance for athletes, for suppressing the appetite, weight loss, leveling blood sugar, and for aiding intestinal regularity. Chia seeds readily dissolve into the water, creating a substance that looks like gelatin. This gel-forming action is due to the soluble fiber in the Chia seed. Researchers believe that this same gel-forming phenomenon takes place in the stomach when Chia seed is consumed, thus creating a physical barrier between carbohydrates and digestive enzymes and slowing the conversion of carbohydrates into sugar. Slowing the conversion of carbohydrates into sugar helps with endurance and metabolic rates, which is beneficial for athletes and others”.

“For weight loss, Chia seeds are an appetite suppressant, and Chia gel may be used to replace food within recipes. Bulking up a meal with Chia gel helps lessen the amount of food consumed, since Chia gel is primarily made up of water. Chia gel may also be used in place of fats within recipes, even within baked goods. Chia seed has hydrophilic properties, and can absorb more than 12 times its weigh in water. Because of this, Chia seeds can prolong hydration, helping retain moisture and regulate more efficiently the body’s absorption of nutrients and body fluids, including electrolyte balance.” (source)

I buy them in bulk (here) and we go through a couple pounds a month, but they are by far one of the most nutrient dense food per ounce that I use, and they help keep the kids full for hours, which is a huge benefit!

Convinced? Here are my ten favorite uses if you want to give this “Indian Running Food” a try:

1. As a Safe Egg Substitute

I recommend a lot of egg consumption and many of my recipes contain eggs. I occasionally get emails from readers who need to adapt a recipe to avoid eggs, and from my research/testing, Chia Seeds are the best option for this.

To substitute for an egg: Use 1 tablespoon finely ground chia seeds (grind them dry in a blender, food processor, or coffee grinder) and 3 tablespoons of water per egg in a baked recipe (does not work in place of eggs for omelets though…)

2. To Make Healthy Pudding

My kids favorite use of chia seeds is to make a homemade pudding with them. It’s easy to make and actually really healthy. Our go-to recipe is:

  • 2 cups of coconut milk or other milk
  • 1/2 cup chia seeds 
  • 2-3 tablespoons cocoa powder (or to taste)(optional)
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla (or to taste)
  • 1 tablespoon or more sweetener of choice (optional)- We use honey or a few drops of stevia tincture

Put in a blender and blend until smooth. Will thicken in about 10 minutes in the fridge.

There are endless flavor variations. You can omit the cocoa powder and vanilla and add a cup of strawberries for a strawberry version, or add cinnamon and nutmeg for a Chai Chia Pudding.

3. To Thicken Soup or Gravies

If you don’t use cornstarch or thickening agents, it can sometimes be a challenge to thicken different culinary creations. Just add a couple tablespoons of chia seeds (powdered or not) at a time to reach the desired thickness.

4. To Make Grain Free Crackers

I’ve made several variations of these, including just mixing them with equal parts coconut milk to thicken, adding some garlic powder and sea salt, and baking at a low temp for a couple hours. I haven’t measured out my recipe yet to post here, but here’s another one that looks great.

5. To Thicken Meatballs Instead of Breadcrumbs

I married an Italian, so meatballs get made pretty often around here. His grandmother’s recipe calls for breadcrumbs, which I don’t use, so I just throw in a couple tablespoons of chia seeds (per pound of meat) in place of gluten bombsbread crumbs. Also works to thicken meat-loafs, batters, etc.

6. Sprouted for Salads

Ever had little sprouts on a salad at a restaurant? You can make them yourself. Just put some chia seeds in water, drain the water off and leave in a jar for a couple days. Every 12 hours or so, rinse with water and pour the water off. In a day or two, you’ll have little chia sprouts, which leads to the next use of chia seeds:

7. Homemade Chia Pet

These are the same seeds used to make the chia pets you can buy for ($20) in the store. Save about ($20) and make your own. Just fill a (porcupine) shaped pot with dirt, sprinkle some chia seeds on top of the dirt and water. Viola! Chia Pet. I also discovered when my kids spilled their chia seeds that they were eating for a snack that they grow in areas that don’t get much sun and that are often trampled (under the treehouse) and prevent mud. Now, the kids get to eat chia seeds under their treehouse often, and the ones that spill prevent mud. A win-win!

8. To Make Homemade Energy Gel

Seen the commercial for those new (corn syrup filled) Gatorade Gels and Chews? Here’s a healthier variation that kids will love: Add a couple tablespoons of chia seeds to a cup of coconut water. Let sit for about ten minutes and you’ll have an incredible energy gel! Beats the socks off of Gatorade for hydration and energy and you get to avoid the fake colors, fake flavors and GMO corn icon smile 10 Uses for Chia Seeds Also works for grown ups for endurance activities like running a 5K without training at all (ask me how I know that….)(and come run with me!).

9. As a “Breading”  for Baking Fish and Chicken

Mixed with some almond flour and garlic powder, or even by itself, Chia Seeds make an excellent “Breading” for fish or chicken. It toasts up well and provides a nutty, crunchy flavor without the grains (another win-win!).

10. Plain Ol’ Chia Seeds

Even by themselves, they are a great source of nutrients and also leave you feeling full for a long time. I sometimes chew a couple tablespoons for a quick breakfast on the go, and they leave you feeling surprisingly full! They do stick to your teeth, but wash them down with some coffee and you’ll have energy for hours!

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